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Alex Churchland
File:Alex in rags.png87px
Party Member
Nicknames Lucky
Class Garbage Man
Sex Male
Date of Birth 1960's
Age 40+
Relationships *
Gameplay
Weapon Types Ring
Armor Types Rags, Wraps, Flourish, Nude
Skill Types Techniques, Stances
Target Rate 100%
Evasion 5%
Hit Rate 95%
Crit Chance 4%
I had life figured out, but now it's all gone.
Alex Churchland

Alex Churchland is the primary protagonist and playable character of LISA: The Pointless. His love for martial arts budded when he was young, eventually culminating in his participation in a World Tournament. After a traumatizing loss, Alex Churchland found himself working a job as a garbage man in Olathe.  

For unknown reasons, a more elderly, post-Flash Alex Churchland was shot in the back by forces belonging to the Rando army. His body was later dumped in the mass graves of Garbage Island. It is here that he is discovered near death by Joel Miller and is nursed back to health. Hoping to find a better place to live in, Alex and Joel set out as a duo to travel the wastes of a post-apocalyptic Olathe, in search of a legendary city.

Battle

Alex is a party member that uses a Combo Dial to execute the majority of his skills -- one can also use them directly from the Skills menu. Alex's combo type is named Velvet-Fu.

The letters below can be used in any order to deal individual damage. Using the letters in certain orders will execute certain skills, adding the damage of the relevant skill, as well as any Status Effects or other features that respective combo has.

Skill Letter Description
Silken Wrist File:Alex combo dial W.png
Practiced wrist fling.
Ascending Claw File:Alex combo dial A.png
Backwards thrust.
Descending Claw File:Alex combo dial S.png
Focused thrust.
Side Kick File:Alex combo dial D.png
An extended kick.

Skills

Battling enemies throughout the game reward XP. Leveling up unlocks Skills -- specialized combos or abilities that give Alex extra utility and power to use within a fight.

Name Combo Description Level Cost
Flying Axe Kick
File:Alex combo dial W.pngFile:Alex combo dial W.pngFile:Alex combo dial D.png
(WWD) Works your leg like a guillotine. Has a low chance of bleeding the enemy. 2 30 SP
Dive
N/A, chosen from the Skill menu.
A classic evasive maneuver. Can still use items. Prevents most forms of damage, but staggers. 3 10 SP
Goat Headbutt
File:Alex combo dial A.pngFile:Alex combo dial D.pngFile:Alex combo dial S.png
(ADS) Devastating cranial collision. May stun, but low damage against good def. 4 35 SP
Disarming Chop
N/A, chosen from the Skill menu.
Takes the "edge" off a wily assailant. Disarms an armed opponent. 5 20 SP
Goat Kick
File:Alex combo dial D.pngFile:Alex combo dial D.pngFile:Alex combo dial D.png
(DDD) A no-nonsense, double back kick. May launch enemy into the air. Costs 70 HP. 6 50 SP, 70 HP
Full Thrust
File:Alex combo dial W.pngFile:Alex combo dial W.pngFile:Alex combo dial A.png
(WWA) Get your fingers up in their business. Will probably set the opponent Off Balance. 7 40 SP
Iron Hoof

N/A, chosen from the Skill menu.

A stampede's worth of stompin' power. Crushing damage against fallen enemies! 7 30 SP
The Minor Iris
File:Alex combo dial W.pngFile:Alex combo dial A.pngFile:Alex combo dial S.png
(WAS) The first supreme technique of the Velvet Style, precise strikes shred through solid defence. 8 70 SP
The Major Iris
File:Alex combo dial A.pngFile:Alex combo dial S.pngFile:Alex combo dial A.pngFile:Alex combo dial S.png
(ASAS) The second most supreme technique. Methodically disassembles the enemies stance. 12 115 SP

Victory Quotes

Win Quotes

Level Quotes

Drop Quotes

  • "..."
  • "Smooth as velvet."
  • "I did my best."
  • "It's all coming back to me..."
  • "Take it and let's keep moving."
  • "Maybe there is something we can use?"

Pre-Flash

Alex Churchland was born sometime in the 1960's. During his childhood, he lived with his aunts -- no mention of his parents is ever made. A majority of his family members were of older age, with their deaths becoming a "bi-annual occurrence". One day while at home, Alex's aunt Beth returned home with a VHS tape that she had purchased for him containing a "grand-master" guide to the Velvet-Fu style, which would become Alex's signature style. Alex grew up an aspiring martial artist, demonstrating his skill on his fellow classmate Vincent Lo. This provoked a positive reaction from his future friend, Chie Teal.

In the year 1979, Alex Churchland competed in an international martial arts tournament featuring famous grandmaster Choi Tae. Alex's first match was against Stan Curien, who utilized the Aikido style. Alex was unable to compete against Stan Curien's defensive skill and, seemingly unable to hit him, was defeated -- either by T.K.O. or by being disqualified from the tournament for illegally kicking his opponent in the groin. After a humiliating loss, Alex attempted to call his aunt Beth, but the phone is instead received by Chie Teal. The contents of this phone-call are not known, but they are brief.

After his loss in the martial arts tournament, Alex resigned from martial arts and became a garbage man until the Flash occurred.

Story

After the Flash occurs, Alex Churchland is left to wander the post-apocalyptic wastes of Olathe. Eventually, something happens which provokes forces allied with the Rando army to fire upon Alex in the back -- it is unknown if he was attempting to flee the Rando soldiers or if he was ambushed. The Rando soldiers collect Alex's body and load it into a truck destined for the Mass Graves of Garbage Island, where it is dumped into a pile of corpses.

Alex's injuries were not fatal, however. In critical condition, his wounded self is discovered by Joel Miller, who is searching for a unique bullet made in a caliber specifically for his bolt-action pistol. Joel notices Alex, who is clinging onto life, and helps him to his feet -- he then notices that Alex's body was obscuring the very round that he was searching for. For this, and for the fact that Joel discovered Alex soon enough to nurse him back to health, he refers to Alex as "Lucky".

After regaining consciousness, Alex immediately finds his new home of Garbage Island to be immensely repulsive and tells Joel that he is leaving in search of a better place. Joel, having found his bullet, sees no reason to remain in Garbage Island, and decides to accompany Alex in his quest.

After escaping Garbage Island and traversing the Endless Wastes, Alex finds himself in the outskirts of Downtown Olathe -- a former city which now is overrun by the violent gang known as the Infinity Franchise, whose credence is to senselessly kill for the sake of killing. After killing several mindless murderers belonging to the Franchise in the name of self-defense, Alex and his accomplice Joel are forced to jump off of a cliff after they are cornered by a horde of the gangsters.

As the fall leaves Joel with broken ribs, Alex is forced to search the surrounding area for a Trauma Kit with which to heal Joel. Depending on whether or not Alex finds a way to power a ruined house nearby, he can watch a functional television set inside the aforementioned home. The broadcast originates from the City. Afterwards, Alex is nearly raped by a wandering serial molester, but survives. Alex ventures onward to the east of the ruined house, where he finds the humble shack of an elderly man in possession of a Trauma Kit. Alex is forced to kill this man for his Trauma Kit. If Alex does not watch the television in the ruined house, he will find the serial molester's body outside this shack, visibly having sustained numerous lacerations.

Alex and Joel, with the latter's ribs having been treated, continue east to the City. On the way, they find a group also traveling to the city, as well as a seemingly friendly man called Jason Pike. After a brief conversation, Alex, Joel, and Pike initiate a rest. Alex awakens to find the entirety of this group silently slaughtered in their sleep, with the culprit peering over him. After a right hook, the sadistic man proceeds to stab Alex numerous times before Pike -- revealing a connection with the killer -- makes him stop. Joel and the associate then begin to treat Alex for his grievous wounds.

Joel, helping a partially treated Alex walk, follow Pike towards a bus heading towards the City, owned by the Neon Flamingos. The duo are nearly denied passage, but Joel points out Alex's horrific injuries, and they are allowed on-board.

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